You may be Taliban if........
- 1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
- 2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
- 3. You have more wives than teeth.
- 4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean."
- 5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
- 6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.
- 7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
- 8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
- 9. You've ever uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."
- 10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
- 11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
- 12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat
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